This blog had to come, my youngest daughter has been waiting for it for some time. She is leaving home in January you see, moving into her first apartment. My daughters make fun of my blogs, they call them sappy, and ya I guess a lot of them are. Soon as I have finished a blog I text both of them to let them know, they are my biggest fans I think. My youngest daughter has been asking “so when are you going to blog about me leaving home?”. To tell the truth, I think I have been avoiding the whole subject. One of those ‘if I don’t think about it, maybe it will go away’ things.
I am not sure who I am more worried about, my daughter or my wife and I. Yes, we still have my son at home for awhile yet, this is true, but still…
I remember moving my eldest daughter into her first downtown apartment. It was in a bad neighbourhood. No word of a lie we had to shoo a bum off the step of the apartment so we could move things in. I kept on asking her “are you sure you are going to be ok here?”. I drove home crying, wondering what kind of father leaves his daughter in a shithole like that, then called her as soon as I got home. She did fine there and moved onto a couple of other crappy apartment before settling down.
There are so many steps they need to take in life that keep me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what path they are going to take. Steps we have all taken. I want to yell at the top of my lungs some days, “No No that is the wrong way!! Turn back!!”, but I can’t. I realized sometime ago we can gently nudge our kids in the right direction, but they have to make their decisions, they have to live their own lives. I think the best we can do is to be there when they finally do say “I have made a mistake”, give them a hug and let them know it will be ok, give it another try.
Last weekend, I bit the bullet piled a few of my daughters things in my car and we drove into town to drop them off at her new apartment. It’s cute, cozy, looks relatively safe (though I will put enough locks on the door that it will take 10 minutes to get in!), clean, on a busy street, and I HATE IT!
I hate it because she can now come and go as she wants. I hate it because she can have her boyfriend over all night. I hate it because she can come home late at night and shower and cook and make all the noise she wants.
But mostly I hate it because my little girl is grown up now and doesn’t need her dad as much.
Good luck Kiddo, you will do fine, I know it but I sure will miss you.